About me
My sister Mary, who was three years older than me, did not appreciate my being born. She was totally happy being an only child and receiving all the love two parents could give or so she thought. My sister Mary did not like me much because whenever my mother wasn’t looking she would shake my crib so hard that when my mother rushed in, she figured that my brains were scrambled.
I have considered myself a Rock Pile Baby because I was born in Oroville, a northern California small town nestled beside the Feather River. Our street of houses was at the edge of town and all along the back of our lots were remaining huge rock piles running all behind from the Gold Rush. All the kids loved to play in the rock pile and I was no exception even though quite young.
When I was extremely young my family decided to go camping. At the camp, all the kids found a huge redwood stump that was flat on top and very high. I managed to climb off and I landed on my chin. A trip to the doctor was called for. My mother took me to a country doctor and I screamed all the way into his office. That doctor was not enjoying a screaming kid. He was tired and out of anesthetic when he stitched my chin up. My mother watched this scene and started to get lightheaded. The doctor’s loud words were, “Lady, stick your head between your legs.” And she did.
Soon my parents moved to Richmond, CA for their professions in education. I was too young to start kindergarten so my parents left me with my great aunt and uncle for a month and then the Richmond kindergarten had to accept my transfer. I was not happy staying with my relatives so in order to placate me, my great-aunt let me hide under the kitchen table with a spoon and a bowl of sugar. Maybe I can blame her for my needing to shop in the Chubby Department in later years.
Another childhood memory was when my sister and I were both quite young. Times were different and my mother was attending summer school at the University of California for her advanced degree. Rather than hire a babysitter she took both of us to the university. We each had a bag lunch while we played in the bushes with a group of other kids playing hide and go seek and tag outside their window. Mother came out at noon and we all picnicked together until she had to go back for another class. To the bushes went all the kids. What fun it was!
Having two parents in education had its rewards, challenges, and disadvantages. I was never a truant and I always did my homework. Not so, my sister Mary, She was pigheaded. We were both tested for IQ. Mary came out a genius and I came out not a genius. Knowing that I have always had a complex my entire life of not being smart enough. I loved our nightly dinners together because my parents always had interesting stories to tell us day-by-day about what was occurring with many interesting students.
While in high school My father was the head of the Commercial Department at Richmond Union High School, the largest high school in the United States at that time. My graduating class contained 990 students. I did find that I could not get by with anything at that school. Once I had a chemistry class and had a test which I could not answer. I gave a flip and silly answer. On the way home with my father, he was in a rage about my silliness. I rarely saw him angry, but I did then.
During high school, I was the leader of a mentally retarded Camp Fire Club which I found to be quite rewarding. My father, being a Mason, allowed me to join the club, Job’s Daughters. The formalities did not impress me but the traveling Tumbling Team was loads of fun. Naturally, I was the anchor of all their pyramid foundations.
I did make it through 5 years at the University of California, but my practical jokes on campus are still legendary.
My sister and I managed to graduate the same summer after taking work breaks in the middle of our college years.
I met the most amazing man on the beach of Carmel, California when I was 21 on Easter Sunday. Of course, he was the only man on that beach because it was freezing and the sand was blowing all over us, including my sister and my father’s secretary. No one else dared to sit in that terrible weather. After returning home I told my parents that I met the man I planned to marry, Melford Ray Hamilton. We married at the age of 24 when he returned from Japan where he was a Russian interpreter for the navy.
I taught in elementary school while having two babies, Jeff and Sarah. Ray finished college and worked at the graduate school at the University of San Francisco with Russian Professors. No, he is not actually Russian but a man from Arkansas who had great skill for learning languages. We traveled often.
Ray began as a realtor as my father had also done. We later moved to San Jose, CA. I developed the skills of organization, determination, competency, and problem-solving. We were both active in church, career, and bringing troubled teens as well as about two dozen foreign students into our home. We traveled more.
We moved to Murphys which is halfway between Yosemite and Lake Tahoe. The village looks like Norman Rockwell painted it. It is between the foothills and the Mountains of California. Life was ideal while we worked at our careers, met with Toastmasters, Rotary, Book Club, and Red Hats kept us busy.
I remained to teach in Angels Camp while Ray was a realtor. Life was perfect or so we thought. After 10 years our adult kids all moved to Colorado for their careers. And so we followed. We moved to Colorado for 16 years to be near our adult kids and their families. We remained there and I loved it but Ray developed health problems so we decided to move to Frisco, TX to be near our daughter and grandchildren.
Now life has thrown me a curveball, Ray died.
I need to decide who I am now after 59 years and 9 months of marriage.
Hopefully, this blog will help me clarify my life. Who am I? Who do I want to be? How will I live without my great love?
Vivian
My “About Me” about my Mom, from her daughter Sarah
My Mom is an inspiration. She has lost the love of her life and when I say that, I don’t say that lightly, my parents since as long as I can remember were united in every way, and let me tell you, it sucked when I was a teenager, I didn’t have that parent that would side with me even if the other was over the line (don’t tell Mom but Dad, in his quiet, loving way always let me know he had my back) they were a UNITED FRONT!
My Dad was my hero and still is, he was a man that other men could and should admire, he was the smartest, most brilliant man but would never show it, he was incredibly modest about his off-the-charts brilliance and you would never know that he spoke Russian and Japanese fluently, that is the way he was. He also came from a background that was awful but he chose to be a good (I say great) man, father, and husband and he was until the day he died. He also was patient and I bring that up because my Dad married his love, my Mom after realizing that her parents were a bit snobby as they were wealthy and had an expected way of life. Not necessarily a bad thing but very different from my Dad. He had an uphill battle but he wanted to marry my Mom and I am so glad he did.
My Mom and Dad were always involved in many activities, not just as a teacher and real estate broker but also volunteering, dinner groups, travel, etc.
I was able to convince them to move near me in historic Frisco, TX in 2022 and I am SO glad they did. It was amazing to see my parents on a regular basis and for them to immediately get involved in the Grove, the senior center nearby, and quickly amass so many friends.
When my Dad got sick very suddenly, as far as we all knew on January 25, 2023, and then March 3, 2023, it was a whirlwind that gave us the most beautiful 5 weeks and 2 days with my Dad and we will never forget.
I worried about what my Mom would do, she and my Dad had been married for almost 60 years, and she hadn’t known an empty house, how would their beloved puppies, Buster and Chewie adapt and cope?
My Mom is a Rock Star! She and I were yin and yang in the beginning and on days when she was down, I was her up, and vice versa.
At first, I had to grapple with ‘how do I fill the void of my Dad for my Mom?’ but realized soon enough, I can’t replace him, he is not replaceable.
I enjoy the moments I get with my Mom as we now make sure we do Sunday dinners with the kids to but often, Mom comes with me as I am driving to show land and i appreciate the time with her and often, like today, and we talk more in depth about Dad when it is just the two of us. We both miss him terribly .
Mom allowed herself the month of March to grieve and that is what she did. She misses my Dad, as do I but my Dad would only want for my Mom to be happy and I guarantee you, he is watching her enjoying her excitement and relishing every stroke of the pen she is doing now and he is proud, as I am too!
I love you Mom! You got this!!!
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